The Great Naruto Timetravel Misadventure
by IndigoRabbit
Summary: Who said re-living your life had to be boring? Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura and Gaara wreak havoc in the past, as they simultaneously attempt to change the world and woo their future beloved. CRACK!fic. Stupidity. Ridiculous pairings. Mayhem. Youth. [SasoSakuIno] [KakaNaru] [ItaSasu] [GaaTema]
1. Chapter 1: Back in Time!

**The Great Naruto Timetravel Misadventure!**

 **AN:** Hello and welcome! I decided to have a go at writing my own timetravel ficlet. Too bad I wasn't in a serious mood and am writing this on holiday...Be prepared for a lot of crack, absurdity, some cliches and downright stupidity. Wow!

Pairings are KakaNaru, ItaSasu, GaaTema and SasoSakuIno.

M for language and some adult themes ;)

* * *

Chapter 1: Back in Time!

"Ugh," Naruto clutched his head in agony. "Fucks' sake, Kura', I thought you said we don't get hangovers!"

 _"We don't,"_ growled back the demon fox, also in pain. _"Kit, I feel like we've just been through a blender."_

"What the hell happened, then?!" Naruto forced his eyelids open, despite every fiber of his being protesting the movement. "Huh."

The blonde found himself staring into the wrinkled face of the Sandaime Hokage, who lifted an eyebrow and blew a cloud of smoke into his face. "Naruto," he said, not unkindly, "Please can you get off my desk."

Naruto fainted.

* * *

Sasuke could not remember the last time he had felt so beaten up. It was as if he had just been through the most straining of training sessions with Orochimaru, and then force-fed Kabuto's 'own recipe' semolina. He gagged at the thought, and promptly sat up, expecting Karin's yelps or Suigetsu's quips (both of whom had moved in with him and Itachi upon his long-awaited return to Konoha) any minute. Instead, he was greeted with darkness. It was silent except for the rhythmic 'ka-clunk' of wagon wheels in the background.

The Uchiha boy's shinobi mind was about to go into full analytical mode, when he realised that what he was sitting against was badly digging into his shoulder.

Turning, he saw that it was a very old, wooden crate. But it was the writing on the crate that caught his eye. Suddenly, all other thoughts left his mind, and he smashed a hole through the crate with his fist.

When he brought his hand back out, he smirked triumphantly. There, in his palm, sat a juicy, red tomato.

* * *

Sakura, on the other hand, had no such rude awakenings. She stretched out in her bed like a cat, yawning widely, then settling her expression into a content smile. It was her day off from the hospital, and she knew what that meant - quality time with both of her lovers. Any minute now, the smell of bacon would beckon her and Ino downstairs, where they would all have breakfast together - Sasori was usually up first and took it upon himself to create food of utmost nutritional and culinary value, befitting of his beautiful girlfriends.

Sakura reached out an arm, expecting to find the soft curves of her girlfriend, but her hand hit the wall. Sakura opened her eyes and frowned. Why was she in a single bed?

Getting up, she scanned her surroundings, and her eyes stopped on a Sasuke poster hanging on the wall.

What. The. Fuck.

* * *

 _Elsewhere..._

A strange, high pitched scream ended the slumber of everyone in the vicinity of Sunagakure. The local ANBU nodded to each other, determined, and flew towards the source of the commotion. What they saw made them pale and take a step back, horrified.

A shaking Temari was trying to extricate herself from the clutches of that _monster,_ who - and this was truly terrifying - appeared to be - asleep! - in her bed. It seemed that Shukaku had broken loose and was attempting to suffocate the Kazekage's daughter via Gaara's thin arms!

Strangely, despite the boy's unconsciousness, there did not seem to be any malevolent chakra leaking out of the redhead, but no-one really paid attention.

"Save Temari-sama!" The commander barked out the order, and multiple projectiles were launched at Shukaku's host. Unsurprisingly, they were all blocked by the demon's cursed sand.

At this moment, Gaara's eyes fluttered open, and he gave his sister the absolutely most blood-chilling expression they had ever witnessed on his face - a small, gentle smile.

A few ANBU dropped like flies from sheer shock.

Gaara then mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, " _Just five more minutes"_ ,pulled his sister closer into the hug, and promptly fell back asleep.

They were truly not getting paid enough for this shit.

* * *

The next morning at the academy, Iruka sensed that something was amiss. The problem was, he had no idea what it was.

Of course, it was slightly unusual for Sakura and Ino to sit next to each other, and Naruto seemed to have left the jacket of his jumpsuit at home that day (claiming that it stank of smoke), but neither of those events were truly that stunning.

Suddenly, Iruka's eyes narrowed as he zeroed in on the problem.

Sasuke was late.

Sasuke was **never** late.

Iruka briefly checked his watch and compared it to the clock on the wall, unsure if he was early. He even double-checked with a few students from their watches for good measure, but it seemed that the time was, all in all, accurate.

The brown-haired chuunin was understandably concerned, but unfortunately, he had to start the team placements as he knew that the Jounin sensei were due to arrive soon and he had no time to waste.

Just as he had almost finished his congratulatory speech, the door flew open, interrupting him midword.

The class took in the sight of the (almost) last Uchiha. His top didn't seem to sit right around his bulging stomach, and his mouth was surrounded by a dried, crusty red liquid. His hair, the secret pride of all Uchiha clansmen, had seen better days. It stuck out in odd directions and had a few woodchippings entangled in his raven tresses. With every step Sasuke took, he left small amounts of sand behind.

"Sorry I'm late, Iruka-sensei," he drawled out in a bored tone.

"Where have you been?" demaded the teacher, more worried than angry.

Sasuke sighed lightly. "I was stuck in a wagon full of tomatoes being transported across Wind country."

No-one knew how to reply to that, and the number one rookie went to take the empty seat next to Naruto.

* * *

"So, Sasuke..." Naruto sent the boy next to him a calculating glace before taking the plunge, "How's Itachi?"

Sasuke snorted and locked eyes with his rival-turned-best-friend. "Figures you'd be here, dobe. How's Kakashi?" Naruto's cheeks tinged slightly pink. They were about to meet Kakashi again, and whilst Naruto was as impatient as ever, he was looking forward to seeing the man he adored - whether he recognised him or not.

"D'ya reckon Sakura-chan's here too?" he whispered back conspirationally.

They turned simultaneously to see Sakura smiling and waving a friendly goodbye to a slightly baffled-looking Ino. They turned back to face the front with wise expressions and nodded sagely.

"Yep, the chances are high."

Half an hour later, the room was empty, save for the 'new' graduates of team seven. Sakura stood from her spot near the back and slid gracefully into the seat on the other side of Naruto.

"Wellp..." she broke the silence, "...Let's go fetch Kakashi-sensei."

* * *

Hatake Kakashi, being an elite shinobi, rarely had much time to rest. It was rarer than even that, that he got to sleep in. When the Hokage had informed him of his newly allotted team, the Jounin had decided there and then that he would use it to his utmost advantage. And so, he had set his alarm to wake him late in the afternoon, and settled in for the lie-in of a lifetime.

Unfortunately for him, it was not meant to be.

A bucket of ice cold water was upended on his prone body, then dumped on his head.

He jumped up instantly and waved his kunai around frantically, looking for all the world like a drowned rat on speed, only to realise there was no-one in sight. Kakashi growled - who had managed to get into his apartment for this kind of stunt?! No-one knew how to get in bar the Hokage, and he highly doubted the revered leader would stoop so low as to endorse such an act...

In the Hokage tower, the Sandaime Hokage was crying tears of laughter as he watched Kakashi's reaction through his crystal ball, surrounded by three smirking young faces.

"I would pay you," he managed to choke through his laughter, "any sum of money to see the same done to Hyuuga Hiashi. Any," he emphasised, as Naruto's face split into a manical grin.

* * *

 _Meanwhile, in Suna..._

Gaara never thought he would ever want to go through his younger years - especially those before the Chuunin exam - ever again. However, now that he was actually in said predicament, he realised it was really not that bad at all.

After an intense mental glaring match with Shukaku, Gaara and the demon came to the compromise that marked the beginning of Gaara's adventure in the past.

Instead of murdering villagers to appease the sand demon, they would fuck with people instead.

And after the day they'd had, both demon and host agreed that it truly was far more amusing than killing ever had been.

First, Gaara had allowed Temari to recover from the morning's escapade - hey, it wasn't his fault, he had thought it was _his_ Temari! - and waited until she recounted the story to Kankurou during morning training. The aforementioned boy snorted and rolled his eyes at her in clear disbelief. This served to anger his sister, who began to storm off, even though Baki-sensei was calling her back.

"Temari," Gaara stated softly, in the same cold tone he reserved for naughty academy students in the future. She instantly froze in place; disobeying Gaara, she knew, meant instant death. She was about to start apologising profusely and he could sense Baki-sensei behind him on guard, ready to intervene, should he fly into a murderous rage.

"Your new fan suits you," he stated instead. "Have a good day."

Shukaku laughed hysterically in his head as he heard Kankurou collapse behind him and Baki's chakra spiked in surprise. Gaara instantly fixed them with the most bloodthirsty glare he could muster, and they froze as he released some killer intent.

"Goodbye, Temari," Gaara waved her off as she stared in disbelief, jaw hanging wide open. "You'll catch a fly in your mouth if you don't close it," he supplied helpfully.

Kankurou would have _no_ clue what hit him when he would wake up the next day to Breakfast-in-bed courtesy of Gaara himself, who would make sure to threaten him with murder between every spoonful, just to be contrary.

* * *

Kakashi inspected his new students through his narrowed eye. He was _not_ a happy bunny, and their overly innocent expressions led him to believe they had something to do with his earlier predicament.

"Right," he ground out through gritted teeth, "Let's all introduce ourselves, _shall we?_ I am Hatake Kakashi, and I _hate_ having my sleep interrupted. I also hate small children who don't take their job seriously," he fixed them all with a glare that could melt glaciers with its heat, but was met only with a yawn from Naruto and blank stares from Sasuke and Sakura. He sighed. "You next, blondie."

"Yosh!" Naruto jumped up to begin, eerily reminiscent of Gai in his exuberance. "My name is Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto, I will be Hokage when I am older! I love my friends and teammates, and my hobbies are modifying jutsu, seals and indoor gardening!"

Kakashi was still so shocked by the news that Naruto seemed to know his heritage that he almost missed Sasuke's whisper to Sakura, "Yeah, no kidding - his apartment is like a bloody jungle of man-eating plants, at the head of them all, the monstrous Mr. Ukki, and his underling, Zetsu..." Kakashi quickly schooled his expression - he could just discuss Naruto's parental knowledge with the Hokage later.

Just as he was about to turn to Sakura, Naruto smiled the most disarming, genuine, _caring_ smile Kakashi had ever seen on pretty much anyone, and winked at him. For a second, Kakashi forgot to breathe.

"Next, the female," he finally said. Sakura was more than happy to oblige, and reclined onto the steps they sat on, using her arms as a support.

"My name is Haruno Sakura. I intend to be a combat medic, and surpass Tsunade-sama herself. My dream is to one day reunite with my loves," she had a faraway look in her eyes that Kakashi decided to ignore, "and my hobby is senseless violence."

Crickets chirped. Kakashi coughed. Sasuke took the lead.

"Uchiha Sasuke. I love tomatoes. My dream is to be the future Hokage's right-hand man, with my family at my side."

Kakashi wasn't entirely sure what Sasuke meant by his last, cryptic statement, but he noted that his team were all dreaming big, and seemed completely confident in their pursuit. This somewhat abated his absolute hatred for them, enough to explain the next step to becoming his team. None of them looked surprised that he would be testing them again, he noted. ' _Well, whatever,'_ he shrugged and Shunshin-ed home.

It was then that he noticed his whole apartment was covered in glitter.

* * *

 _Please review!_


	2. Chapter 2: Settling In!

**The Great Naruto Timetravel Misadventure!**

 **AN:** Thankyou for all your positive feedback so far! Please enjoy the next chapter! (It's also very late at night here, I will go back through this chapter and fix any mistakes later.) Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own ideas.

Chapter 2: Settling in!

"I'm home," Sasori's voice echoed through the house. To his approval, Ino and Sakura were already in the hallway, kneeling and awaiting his return. "Welcome back, Master!" They chorused happily, and he rewarded them with a small smile of his own.

"How have my girls been today?" He enquired, his eye roving over them, expertly assessing their state of well-being like he would assess the physical state of his puppets.

"We've been good, Master," Ino piped up. "I've trained more with Sakura-chan, our puppet techniques are really coming along well!" Sakura nodded along enthusiastically.

Sasori nodded, and the next thing Ino and Sakura knew was they were being lifted, manipulated by Sasori's translucent chakra strings. Sakura sighed in pleasure and relaxed into the hold. Sasori's chakra was the most gentle yet controlled chakra she had ever felt, somehow even more pronounced in his actual body than it had ever been in his puppet form. Sakura knew this from experience, back from all those years ago.

Ino and Sakura were guided upstairs into their king-sized bedroom,where Sasori took a seat in the leather chair facing the bed. He manipulated his girls' movements, allowing them to undress each other and pose for his amusement. He smirked.

Sasori loved being in control.

Sakura caught his eyes as he stood and stepped towards them. As her emerald pools met his liquid amber, she shivered and couldn't keep the lust out of her eyes. This man had conquered death, conquered both her and her best-friend-turned-lover, two of Konoha's strongest kunoichi, and now, they were his.

Sasori smirked, flicking his auburn hair away from his face. Sakura felt Ino tremble beside her. He was getting closer and closer, a predator stalking his cornered prey...Sakura moaned in anticipation...

"SAKURA-CHYAAAANNN!"

The pink-haired girl in question jumped ten feet into the air in surprise, mind groggy from sleep. "Huh- Wha..-"

Naruto and Sasuke stood in front of her, Sasuke's cheeks tinged the kind of crimson hue that was in complete contrast to the Uchiha's pale skin.

"You were talking in your sleep, Sakura-chan," Naruto berated her. "Kakashi-sensei will be here soon!"

Sakura took deep breaths and stifled the rising urge to punch her blond teammate into oblivion. He was right – it was nearing eleven, and their bell test was due to begin shortly. She allowed her mind to linger on the dream for just a little longer before she yawned and stretched. Sasuke eyed her suspiciously.

"I didn't know you had that kind of relationship dynamic," he finally said. Sakura snorted.

"Whatever. You're the one with a brother complex," she countered and Naruto nodded in agreement – although he really should have stayed out of it, because at that point both Sakura and Sasuke decided to gang up on him.

"Are you wearing that for our sensei, dobe?" Sasuke asked in what could almost be called a sweet way. Naruto blushed bright red and Sakura laughed, "He is! He totally is!"

Naruto picked at his skin-tight navy shirt and shinobi pants shyly, hoping that Kakashi would approve. After all, 'Kashi's favourite colour was navy.

* * *

The bell test was painfully short, to Kakashi's embarrassment. He had underestimated the damn brats, and they had taken full advantage.

When he had signalled start, Sakura and Sasuke disappeared – literally. Kakashi couldn't sense them at all, and he would have been impressed if he hadn't been distracted by Naruto (who had not hidden, much as the cyclops had expected) creating a clearing full of clones.

"You may have bought better attire," (Naruto inwardly yelled, "YATTA!"), "but you're still the same dead last student, a one trick pony. I won't even need both of my hands for you," he had taunted, beginning to take out his book.

That would be his last mistake of the kind.

Naruto smirked, and Kakashi glanced up at the sound of a dozen simultaneous 'pop's. His eye widened, and his hands began to shake so hard that his Icha Icha dropped to the floor, all but forgotten. "N-no...this isn't possible..." he stuttered in shock.

The clearing was full of over a hundred copies of Gai and his protege, Lee. Some cried waterfalls, some hugged, some babbled nonsensically at high amplitude about youth, and almost all of them gave Kakashi the brightest "Nice Guy" pose ™ they could muster. To top it all off, a giant genjutsu of a sunset on the beach with crashing waves played on repeat in the background.

Sasuke and Sakura, the little shits, chose just this moment to steal his bells. And when he managed to compose himself enough to try and trick them into not sharing the bells, they just shrugged and dismissed him – Him, copy ninja Hatake Kakashi! - with a, "Yeah, yeah old man – it's all of us or none of us. Choose."

Except Kakashi didn't have a choice. They had passed.

And now he was stuck with them.

* * *

 _Meanwhile, in Suna..._

The Kazekage was worried. His youngest son had been acting strange, and he wasn't sure why, or what it meant.

On the outside, Gaara was the same as he'd ever been. His low, calm tone was still icy enough to drop the entire of Suna's temperature a few degrees, and the trademark "I-always-get-up-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-bed" glare accompanied by the shifting of sand around him was still more than enough to send any citizen of Suna running for the hills.

However, recently, he had been receiving reports of a disturbing nature.

Firstly, his other children had informed him that Gaara had taken to hugging them and Baki 'hello' and 'goodbye'. Then, the other day, a village near an oasis a few miles west of Suna to which he had sent Gaara's team to help with a crime problem had written him a very heart-felt letter. It stated just how pleasant his children were, _'especially the adorable red-head',_ who ' _was just a darling with all the village children'_ and ' _helped calm and raise the villagers' morale during the most trying times whilst sorting out the issue'._

Surely, surely there had been some kind of mistake. Did the villagers mix up his upstanding citizen son with his homicidal one? Did they think Kankurou had red hair under his hood? Rasa gripped at his head, feeling a headache coming on, a motion that would have surely delighted Shukaku, had he been there to see.

 _Perhaps the boy really does need a holiday,_ a thought came into his head, unbidden.

The boy in question, in the meantime, was writing a letter of his own to a location in Konoha that neither of his siblings recognised. He smirked as he finished the letter, his handwriting as elegant as ever. It had always been a point of contention between him and Naruto in the future. He tied it to his favourite bird (a brown male called Suki, who was about as Tsundere as animals get) and sent it on its way.

* * *

" _Dear Uzumaki Naruto,_

 _This is Sabaku no Gaara, the future Kazekage of Sunagakure. As the future Hokage of Konohagakure, I cordially invite you to Ichiraku Ramen to discuss matters of utmost importance pertaining to times that have yet to occur._

 _Three weeks from now, my father has kindly allowed me to take a vacation for the duration of seven days to Konohagakure. My team will accompany me as both my current and future retainers, although at present I believe they are there to keep me from murdering any innocent bystanders on behalf of the demon Shukaku._

 _Regardless, I eagerly await your reply._

 _Gaara (the fifth Kazekage)."_

Naruto grinned and rolled up the parchment, pocketing it, ready to be replied to in the evening.

"What is it, Naruto?" asked Sakura from her patch of garden that she was weeding vigorously. Kakashi, too, looked interested whilst Sasuke – who had already read the letter over Naruto's shoulder – smirked and returned to lazily burning away weeds with a small stream of fire chakra. Kakashi had warned him that it would not rid of the weed's roots and they would grow back, though neither of them had really cared.

"A letter from an old friend," Naruto replied cryptically to the other members of his team, "Gaara," he added for Sakura's benefit. The girl's eyes lit up and she clapped her hands together in delight.

"Gaara! Did he really! Oh, I'm so happy he's on our side this time around, and so soon!"

Kakashi, for his part, smiled on pleasantly, completely clueless. He had learned, however, that in his team's case, it was usually better to just not ask.

* * *

The Sandaime Hokage received an unusual request from the Kazekage that day. Smiling benevolently, he brought down the heavy rubber stamp to approve the leader's request.

"Ah, to be young again!" he smiled wistfully to himself. After all, what harm could there be in allowing the adorable Suna genin to join that year's ninja summer camp in Konoha? All of his best pre-chuunin memories were made in the camp, like when he put salt into Koharu's tea, or replaced all of Homura's underwear with lace lingerie...And then proceeded to steal their thunder in every activity and competition organised by the camp...

Well, there was a reason Hiruzen made Hokage whilst his teammates faded into the background.

* * *

"We're going to wave!" Naruto announced ceremoniously to his team. Kakashi shot the boy a suspicious look. "Naruto, have you been going through my files?"

"No.." Naruto grinned like the Cheshire cat, "But I have been going through old man Hokage's!" Kakashi facepalmed as Sasuke and Sakura exchanged high fives. "What can I say," Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "I decided we could do with a little trip." Kakashi's lone eye widened at this.

"Naruto, are you telling me that you set up this mission with the Hokage without consulting me first?" his tone was turning slowly murderous and Naruto cursed himself mentally for the slip up. His eyes scanned the area frantically, searching for a distraction. He was in luck.

"Hey, look! It's Team Spy Kids!" He yelled suddenly, pointing into the distance. Kakashi turned and, sure enough, the twelve-year old figures of Team Eight faded into view.

"How's it going, losers!" Kiba exclaimed as they neared, before suddenly gulping and adding, "Not you, Sensei. Sensei is smart, kind, and definitely not a loser."

Kakashi nodded sagely. "Yes, indeed. Perhaps I ought to trade teams with Kurenai. Clearly, your team shows me the respect I deserve."

Sasuke snorted and received a dirty look that he promptly ignored.

"How are you, Shino? I haven't seen you since we graduated," Sakura enquired politely.

"I am fine," the boy with sunglasses replied stoically, "and our paths not crossing is to be expected. Why? Because as newly appointed genin, we have all been training vigorously," he concluded. Team seven chuckled nervously as they reflected on how relatively little training they had been doing since returning to the past. Sure, they were super-powerful timetravellers, but that was no excuse to get complacent.

"N-Naruto-kun," Hinata stuttered a barely audible greeting, the flush on her face making her resemble an overly-ripe tomato. Sasuke licked his lips as Naruto smacked his forehead with his palm.

 _'Dammit, I had forgotten her crush on me before she moved on to her teammates!'_ He growled mentally. _'What the heck am I supposed to do?!'_

 _'Just let her down slowly and tactfully, kit,'_ Kyuubi's reasonable advice suddenly boomed from the depths of his host's conscious. Naruto nodded, resolved, and walked straight up to the girl,who was trying to look anywhere but at the blond in front of her.

"Hinata," he said loudly and clearly, drawing her attention. "I'm gay."

There was an uncomfortable silence before Hinata faceplanted into the ground. Suddenly, everyone seemed to come alive at once. Sakura was cursing the heavens for being stuck with an idiot for a teammate, Kurama raged at Naruto mentally ( _'WHAT PART OF 'SLOW' AND 'TACT' DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND!?')_ , Kiba looked shell-shocked as he yelled that Naruto was having an affair with Sasuke, who looked mortally offended, and Kakashi suddenly felt an ugly pang of jealousy upon hearing of Naruto's alleged romance with the Uchiha.

"Of course," Shino confirmed calmly, "That is obvious."

Everyone looked at him as if he had grown a second head.

"WHAT! I didn't know, but SHINO did!?" Kiba screeched. The bug user sent him an odd look, as if genuinely confused at Kiba's bafflement. Kakashi sighed.

"Come now, let's move Hyuuga-san," he suggested, _'and I will grill Sasuke about his relationship with Naruto later.'_

* * *

"I'm home," The oppressive silence was broken by a soft voice and the closing of a sliding paper door. There was no greeting in return; Sasuke had not expected one. He didn't bother turning on the lights, instead using the silver moonlight filtering through the windows to navigate his way around his house in the clan compound. Soundlessly slipping down the corridor, he reached the room he had started sleeping in: Itachi's.

Falling face-first onto the bed, he looked sideways at the photographs on his brother's dresser. There were two; one of Sasuke as a baby, and another of a seven year old Sasuke smiling up at Itachi, who smiled back serenely. There was also an empty spot to the right of that, where the dust on the dresser indicated something had been moved. Sasuke knew what it was: years later, Itachi had shown Sasuke the only keepsake he had taken with him from Konoha that night – a framed drawing of the two brothers that Sasuke had drawn for his precious aniki's birthday. Sasuke had actually been very talented for his age. Fugaku, of course, would have none of it and destroyed every other picture Sasuke had ever drawn. Itachi's present had survived for the sole reason that Itachi had been willing to physically fight their father to preserve it.

"Nii-san," Sasuke's eyes softened. "I miss you."

Far away, in an unremarkable remote village inn, Itachi made sure Kisame was snoring soundly before he drew out his most prized possession. He traced the pencil lines lightly with his finger, careful not to smudge anything.

"Goodnight, otouto," he whispered.

* * *

 _Please review!_


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